Back to bite, back to bite, don’t breath, thump thump.
Lights, gone. Food, gone. Drugs, gone. Hope,
Desperate sex and wobbly legs.
Get me drunk, look after me, stop the thinking, stop the world.
Back to bite, back to bite, bite me harder, fuck me harder
Than this silence, than this screaming, are they screaming, is it me?
The terror is like popping candy abusing my skull,
Like angry clots of blood trying to burst out of fingernails
Pulsing, screeching, moaning, and then silence.
The constant ringing and now your face has gone all blurry.
The thought of all the itches we will never get to scratch.
It’s all rotting, it’s all gone and you just keep being so fucking kind.
The bile in my stomach, my hands in your pants, is there even a point?
Splashing about in mud, looking for familiar faces, for a trace of something human.
Slaves demanding justice, then wanting the crown.
Grey days, skipped days, were you slowly drift away.
I don’t want to be pretty, I don’t want to write pretty
To hide behind niceties and disgusting adoration.
In the darkness I’ve stopped tripping, I walk steady now.
I’m not longer funny but I’m lonely, as you roll me the millionth cigarette,
As I gulp the millionth gulp of bitterness, my bitterness.
We lost a long while ago and we’ve wasted all our time.
Toxic waste and suspicion, is that mask because of me?
They’ve turned us against each other and there’s no going back.
There’s no life during wartime, only slow self-destruction.
Before the bombs, before the lights went out,
Before the mould and the stench and the disease and the hunger,
The mind numbing stupidness had already knocked us out.
Featured image: Jobkill by Pushwagner, Hariton (1987) can be found in the Norwegian National Museum, or online at: http://www.pushwagner.no/galleri/kunst/JOBKILL