The brute, astute revelation
Of a painfully insignificant fade out:
You never were, the specialness I craved for.
You never were.
Forcefulness embraced me then,
And now your face I cannot colour with my pain.
I craved the ethereal self, I imagined through your eyes.
I was your portal –
To feel love, for yourself, to feel worth.
A portal for big words, and comforting elation.
I was a beast of beauty to subject,
Like the beast within us all we cannot tame.
I am tall now –
Taller than you now, navigating higher comfort.
We seek the same fulfilment
And project ourselves in winning battles.
I was your projection –
A mirror of the self you wished to be.
Through lust and ego you created many me’s.
We are all just shadows of each others dreams.
My existence depends upon you all,
And I need you.
I could only ever gage myself through you.
Only when you were inside me
Could I smell and taste the colours of me,
Never where they mine to be felt.
I touched myself when you were inside me,
And the walls for a moment crumbled
And we floated, for a moment, in the same chaos.
That me, you made me.
Forever yours it will be and you, will forever be mine.